Tonight we had our monthly family dinner at my mother’s house. It was awful. I felt I was about to vomit the entire evening. I could not eat a thing. This pregnancy is getting me exhausted. Plus I was annoyed with my brother and his new business: metal cnc cutting montreal. He had spent more than two hours talking about that damn thing. I tried to give him some hints that it was boring, he went on without any consideration for the rest of us, who showed no interest in the topic.
I guess he probably felt it was his time to shine and play the subject matter expert role, while conversing with my dad. Although he is a grownup, he still craves for my parents’ attention or their approval. In his mind, he sees everything as a competition.
I gave up years ago on listening to his stories or complaints. I love him, but I am better when I keep my distance. When we were kids, it was fun to compete with him, but once we became adults it simply looked foolish. I did not wish to encourage his madness, thus I stop completely all the games we played. I wanted him to realize that others were not seeing his approach with kind eyes.
It was during an earlier family dinner, when I announced my pregnancy to the members of our family. At the end of the evening, after he congratulated us, he added that it was for the first time when he lost the race. He could not have a baby. My husband burst into laughter when he heard him. Then hubby smiled and suggested to him to start looking for a surrogate mother or a steady girlfriend, if he was serious about the baby.
On the way back home, while we were in the car, my husband confessed that he was puzzled by my brother’s comment. He had heard me saying my brother was very competitive, but he never imagined to what extent. Same as me, he could not understand why my sibling was behaving that way. Was it jealousy, envy, loneliness, fear? Which one was it?
Whatever was the root cause, he had to grow up and leave the past behind. I always imagined that most of his strange remarks or acts were due to the fact my dad preferred me over him.